So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Randomize