i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
