She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize