Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
