I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
