omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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