Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
