I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
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