I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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