I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
