New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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