Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Randomize
