im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
