saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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