When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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