Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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