hotel room ftw
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize