seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
