FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
