whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize