My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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