oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
