Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I think people are normalizing furries
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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