The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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