I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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