i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
