They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
