So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize
