Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize