do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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