it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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