you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
