My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
