he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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