So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
i dont even know how to be here
His hands were made for my vagina.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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