this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Randomize
