how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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