Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
