Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
