dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
