If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
