PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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