finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
