this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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