I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
is wine microwaveable?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
My ass is underappreciated
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
