Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize