I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
