I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
