What tipped you off? The sombrero?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
