hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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