Nicole vs. Life
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
So vagazzling was a success
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
