I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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