you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
