Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
We have started to decorate penises.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Randomize
