Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
