Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
please come you make the beer taste better
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize