I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
last night I used snow as a chaser
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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