Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize