Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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