Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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