apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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