i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize