White coat. Heels.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
