dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
