she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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