Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I just sucked dick on a ferry
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
